Year in Review

I can't believe that 2009 is almost over...just a few more hours left in the last day of this decade. Amazing how quickly has been flying by lately. Is that a sign of me getting older? Or is it just because me and the kids are so much busier these day...Yeah...I'm going with that one :)

Let's see...'09 started out with me and Toby celebrating our 11th anniversary, and Aaron celebrating his 7th b-day, both on the 3rd. A few days later, Grandma Conrad passed away. She was my last living grandparent, and I have missed her very much this year. We all know the old saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone." Well, that's how I feel about Grandma.

Aaron played indoor soccer in the spring, and had tons of fun. Aaron also started guitar lessons last January, and has gotten pretty good at it over the past year, especially when he practices. The songs he practiced the most (without me or Toby even reminding him to practice) were 2 Bon Jovi songs..."Wanted Dead or Alive" and "Blaze of Glory." I'm hoping that he will continue to enjoy the guitar and continue to get better and better at it.

Sadie took gymnastics and dance (ballet and tap) at AC...I love that my kids get a big discount for classes there. I'm sure I'll love it even more when they are actually in college :) Sadie really loves to dance and sing, and spent hours watching "The Wizard or Oz" and "The Nutcracker" and practicing her moves and her vocal abilities. She is such a ham and loves being center stage...Wonder where she gets that from?

Both kids finished out another year at St. Mary's...Aaron's finished 1st grade while Sadie completed another year of Montessori. We love St. Mary's School and are glad that we are a part of the St. Mary's family. Our kids are able to attend a small school, while we enjoy "big city" life. Wonderful!

The summer was a blast. We spent a lot of time in Groom riding Aaron's new dirt bike. So that I could keep up, I even learned to ride Corkey's big dirt bike. Now when I say big, I mean it's a 100 cc or something like that...not too big, but definitely big enough for me just learning how to ride. Sadie loved riding on the little 4-wheeler. We can't wait for the weather to warm up so that we can start riding again! I also attended an ACTS retreat (Adoration, Community, Theology, and Service). It was an amazing experience and would recommend it to anybody and everybody! The next Women's ACTS retreat starts the Thursday before Valentine's Day! We also spent several days (at the end of summer) at Red River, riding horses, hiking and riding the ski lift. The kids loved it, and are ready to go back!

Then, in the fall, school started back. Aaron is in 2nd grade, which is a big year for Catholic kids. He made his 1st Confession in November, and is now preparing for his 1st Communion at the end of January! I can't believe how he is growing. Speaking of growing, he is growing physically too. He grew 2 inches in 6 months. Before too long, he'll be taller than me. Scary.

Sadie started her last year of Montessori. I can't believe she will be in kindergarten next year. It doesn't seem possible. She is really excited about kindergarten, and ready for this year to be over.

Also, in other family news, we paid off our house in November! So exciting! And because of that, I am planning on only working one more semester full time at AC. Then, next fall, I *hopefully* will be working part time. I am really hoping to spend the other part of my time helping out at St. Mary's (school and church), and finding more time to exercise and clean and cook. Wish me luck!

As for Toby, he is as amazing as ever. I wish that I had his drive. He is a morning person, and he can't just sit around (like I do...surfing the net, playing video games, watching TV). He has built several book cases this year, and even built a really neat (and big) hutch. He is still (thankfully) working for the railroad and we're hoping the economy turns around soon (or at least doesn't get any slower) so that he can keep his job. Otherwise, my plans to switch to part time work will have to change...

So, those are a few of the highlights from 2009. It was a great year, and we're hoping for even better things to come in the new year and new decade! Hopefully, I will do a better job of chronicling those happenings throughout 2010 than I have done over the past few months...

Black Friday 2009

Well, here is the story of this year's Black Friday adventure. It all began Thanksgiving Day...well, come to think of it, it actually began about a month ago, as the 1st BF ads got leaked, and I began my planning. But Thanksgiving was when we finalized the game plan. My assignments: Old Navy, Sears, Target, Kohls. Angie and mom started out at Toys R Us a bit before Midnight, which is also when I got in line at Old Navy...

So when I got to ON about a quarter til midnight (they opened at 3 am), I was about 10th in line. They were giving away a "limited" number of free Lego Rock Band games for the various gaming systems, and we really wanted one for the Wii. I felt that 10th in line was a good place. After Angie finished at TRU, she came and got in line w/ me (she wanted a game for the Wii too). I think she got there around 1:30 or so. I had a chair set out for her the entire time, so that everybody knew there would be 2 of us. No complaints when she joined me. Then, around 2:15, the 2 people at the front of the line started letting LOTS of their friends join them at the front...not just 1 more person, but at least 10 extra people, so now I was sitting about 20th from the front. At 2:30, the ON people came out to hand out the wrist bands to the people in the front of the line (different colors for each gaming system). Me and Angie got the last 2 wristbands for Wiis. So glad that I decided not to take the time to shave my legs before going to get in line that night...

So me and Angie waited in line for 30 more minutes for the store to open. The line stretched from the doors at ON, down the sidewalk, past the dollar store, and all the way to Kohls. Lots of people...As we waited, we noticed that some people who got there just minutes before the store opening were gathering in the parking lot, and when they opened the doors to ON, those late-comers stormed the doors (cutting in front of 100's of people who got there before them), and caused a major mosh-pit. I was 20th in line, and ended up getting smashed and squeezed and pushed. It was terrible. In fact, they ended up breaking the doors at ON, and they had to call 911. It was madness, I tell you! We got the few things we needed there, checked out, and got our games (after a brief scare as I couldn't find my wristband...it came off when I took my gloves off, so it was in my pockets...thanks to Angie for having me check my gloves).

Then, off to Sears. I got there a little before 3:30. Sears was not too crazy, but I did sustain an injury there. I grabbed 2 Guitar Hero World Tour games (thought both were for the Wii). They were bound with some plastic wire alarm device, so I carried them around by those wires. Not a good idea...they cut off the circulation to my fingers, and even now as I type this, my left index finger is still numb...not sure if this will be a permanent injury or if feeling will eventually return. Hmmm...

Checked out at Sears and got almost everything I wanted. Like I said, I thought I had grabbed 2 Wii GH World Tours, but in fact, one was for the PS3, so I ended up w/ only 1 for the Wii. I also couldn't find the memory card mom wanted...

Then, off to Target. Target is always crazy. Karen was in line there to get a 40 inch TV, so I joined her. Target handles those people who wait in the parking lot well...they don't let those people in until everyone who waited in line has gone in. Kudos for Target...much less chaos and a much lower chance for a trampling injury. Got most of what we wanted at Target (aside from a few games and a $3 toaster). Nothing much happened at Target except me sneaking into line with some of the teachers and parents from St. Mary's. This probably saved me at least 45 minutes of waiting. Thanks so much for pretending that I actually belonged with you guys!

Then, off to Kohls. Here, I got everything on my list, but had to wait in line FOREVER, even though Karen was there with a friend, who got in line when they first got there. Kohls needs more checkout counters.

After Kohls, I went to a couple more stores, but they were all out of the stuff I wanted. That's okay though...those things were high on my list anyways. Then, we all met at Angie's to divvy up our goods, and tabulate how much everyone owed everyone else. I was home by 10:30. And in bed by 11!

Toby says this was my last Black Friday. I think I agree. The mob at ON, the injury at Sears, and the LONG LONG lines, along with no sleep the night before...too much. I think I'll try to do most of my BF shopping next year online, and maybe hit up a Walmart...We'll see!

Widows

Earlier this week, as I was driving somewhere and listening to St. Valentine radio, I heard the following reading from 1 Timothy:

1 Timothy 5:3-10

Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let these first learn to perform their religious duty to their own family and to make recompense to their parents, for this is pleasing to God. The real widow, who is all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But the one who is self-indulgent is dead while she lives. Command this, so that they may be irreproachable. And whoever does not provide for relatives and especially family members has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years old, married only once, with a reputation for good works, namely, that she has raised children, practiced hospitality, washed the feet of the holy ones, helped those in distress, involved herself in every good work.

Who does this make you think of? For me, I am reminded of my Grandma. She was widowed very early in life (in her 50's). She never re-married, and lived all alone on the farm. She worked hard every day, whether it was gardening, helping dad in the field, or making all of those craft items for the annual Christian Mother's Bazaar. She went to mass daily, and then came to our house to drive some of us kids to school. She moved her mom and her sister-in-law into her house and cared for them as they lost that ability to care for themselves. I have heard that she actually did this for several relatives before I was born.

Now, no one would ever accuse Grandma of being warm and fuzzy (a trait that I share with her), but now that she is gone, I am really beginning to appreciate the wonderful example that she gave me. Why is it that we so often don't truly appreciate someone until they are gone? And why is it that I got her non-warm-and-fuzzy trait, but somehow missed out on the hard-working-never-idle-not-a-lazy-bone-in-her-body trait? I didn't even get any little part of that trait. What's up with that?

But seriously, I have been blessed with so many wonderful examples of strong, Christian women in my life. And for that, I am thankful.

Some Pictures

Here are some pictures from the last few days. First, our football game was cancelled Sunday because of the weather, so we went to pick out pumpkins instead.

Here are some pictures of the carving process. Toby cut the tops off of both pumpkins, and then we all helped scrape out the gooey insides...well, Sadie mostly just watched. After all, that's nasty stuff and she wouldn't touch it.

Here is Aaron beginning to get his pattern "poked" onto his pumpkin. He's getting so big...he used to need my help with this part.

Sadie watched Toby poke her pattern onto her pumpkin. She did help carve a little, too.

But mostly Sadie just supervised.

Here's Aaron with his completed Alien Pumpkin.

And here is Sadie with her completed Dorothy and Toto Pumpkin (no surprise to those who know her that she would pick something Wizard of Oz).

This next picture is from Thursday. Yes, that's snow in Amarillo in October. The snow started falling shortly after I told my sister that we didn't get any snow...just rain.

Then, Aaron and I headed out to the Amarillo Rock Climbing House (A.R.C.H.). Aaron LOVES climbing rock walls, so I promised him that if he made a 105 on his spelling test, I would take him to this new place. He brought home his 105 from Friday's test on Monday, and Thursday was the first chance that we were able to go.

This last picture is from the Halloween party Toby and I went to last night. It was the first time I had worn a costume for Halloween since Jr. High. We had tons of fun at the party. It was GROOVY!

What Else Could I Say?

Last night, Aaron and I made a trip to Wally World to pick up a few necessities (ice cream). On our way out, I left our basket at the door and just carried the sacks out. Aaron and I then had an interesting conversation:

Aaron: "Why are you leaving the basket there?"

Me: "Because I'm done with it. I can just carry my stuff to the car. Where am I suppose to leave it?"

Aaron: "In the places for the carts outside by the cars."

Me: "Not when you don't need the cart to get your groceries to the car."

Aaron: "Mom, those Walmart people are pointing at you." (he was referring to the greeters)

Me: "They're probably just pointing at the cart, telling someone to go get it and put it up."

Aaron: "Mom, it's not nice to make the old people do your job."

Me (after a brief pause): "You're right, Aaron."

What else could I say???

Updates

It's been awhile since I have posted anything, and that's because my life is a total whirlwind right now. It seems that I have no time to spend with my kids, but instead only have time to yell at my kids, and believe me, they will testify to that.

This morning started off horrible, with Toby getting in around 5:30 and calling me to make sure that the alarm wouldn't go off when he opened the door. Thanks. I should have just gotten up and started getting around then because I never did fall back to sleep. Instead, I fought as hard as I could to stay in bed for as long as I possibly could, and ended up running behind in getting all of us ready to leave this morning. Came down to the last minute, and couldn't find 2 of Aaron's 3 library books. Why on earth do they let a 2nd grader check out 3 books? So I ran through the house, yelling at Aaron to get his shoes and belt on and to find his library book, and to get his backpack, and to get loaded in the car. All this family fun woke Toby up, who joined in the yelling. Yes, the extra yelling was really helpful, because the missing books magically appeared and hovered directly above my head. No wait...that was steam bellowing out of my ears. You see, it is perfectly fine for me to yell at my kids, but somehow, Toby is not allowed. Doesn't he know that rule??? Needless to say, we headed off to school with only 1 library book. But guess what? Aaron found the other 2 in his desk at school Go figure. That desk should probably be declared a national disaster, so I am surprised he found them at all.

Aaron is pretty busy this year. He is taking guitar lessons, playing flag football, and has joined Boy Scouts. And yes, he is selling popcorn if anyone is interested. So, we have lessons on Monday afternoons, Cub Scouts on Tuesday afternoons, football practice on Thursday afternoons, and games on Saturdays and Sundays.

Sadie is being treated unfairly. You see, I didn't sign her up for any extra curricular activities this semester...no dance, no gymnastics, no nothing. For the sake of my sanity, I think that was probably a good choice, but I will probably have to sign her up for something next semester...

As for me, I am swamped at work with grading and clinicals and TONS of meetings. Today's meeting lasted 3 hours. Seriously...that is criminal. People need to keep their extraneous comments to themselves. Stick to the facts! If only teacher was just teaching and not all the other BS that goes along with it!

As for Toby, he is the exact opposite of me. If I have any down time, I am going to utilize it to it's fullest potential and either watch TV, spend time on the computer, or nap. But not Toby. He just finished building a hutch, and is just about done building a bookcase for our hallway. The hutch? He built it without having somewhere to put it...He was just bored and wanted something to do. We still aren't sure where it's going to go.

So that's about it for us!

Family

I don't say this often enough, so I'm putting it out there now...I love my family. My whole family. And yes, by whole family, I mean my whole, entire, extended family. You have made me who I am. You are who I turn to, lean on, laugh with, cry with, look to, worship with, and rejoice with. Each and every one of you have a special place in my heart, and I know that I don't always show my love in normal ways. I am flawed and broken, but please don't ever doubt that I love you. I thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family. And thank you to each of you...for putting up with, for molding me, for guiding me, for teaching me, and for loving me, flaws and all.

Sadie's Boogers

Tonight during Sadie's bath, I caught her sniffing her feet. I asked her if they stunk, and she said "No." She took another whiff and informed me that they smelled like water. Next, I noticed her start to bend her face down toward the water, sniffing. I warned her not to smell the water because she might get water up her nose. She tells me that the last time she sniffed the water, she did get water up her nose, and then she added:

"And it really bothered my boogers."

Conversation with Aaron

About a week ago, Aaron and I were in the kitchen. He was working on his homework, and I was slaving away at the stove. Aaron took a break from his math worksheet, looked up, and asked:

"Mom, do I have to get married?"

My response was "No, you don't have to."

He replied "Good. Then I'm not going to get married."

And before I could even make the suggestion that immediately popped into my mind, Aaron added:

"I'm not going to be a priest, I'm just not going to get married."

Sadie's Scare

Yesterday morning I handed my keys to Sadie so that she could go unlock the car and her and Aaron could load up while I was pouring my coffee. So Sadie grabbed my keys and her backpack and opened the front door to walk out to the car. Then I hear a blood-curdling scream and Sadie begins crying frantically, and Toby gasps. I look up, wondering what's wrong, thinking someone was seriously injured. I see Sadie running into the kitchen (where I am), still crying. I picked her up and asked her what's wrong. She was so upset that she couldn't even tell me. It's at this time that I heard Toby say, "I'll kill it." I walked over to the door, saw him grab a nearby flip-flop, and smashed a humongous wolf spider.

Sadie is terrified of spiders, by the way.

First Day of School (Belated Post)

My kids first day of school was this past Thursday. I'm late posting about it because the past several days have been CRAZY busy for me. I didn't even get home Thursday until after 7. Hopefully things will slow down soon :)

These first 2 pictures show you exactly how each of my two very different children felt about things Thursday morning...

Sadie was SUPER excited, and asked me every day for weeks how much longer until school started back. Aaron, however, has been dreading this day. Not sure if it's a boy/girl thing, or if it's just the differences in personalities...

This next picture, we finally got a smile, and actually got Aaron to hug Sadie :)



Here they are as they walk toward their school...

And even though Aaron was not overly excited about the first day of school, once we got to his classroom, and he saw some of his friends, he perked up. This is a REAL smile...

And here's Sadie. She's so big...only one more year of Montessori and my baby will be in Kindergarten. Hard to believe...

Overall, it was a great day. Both kids like their teachers (so far...hope things stay that way). And both kids have some good friends in their classes, and some new students too, so that hopefully they can both make some new friends this year!

My Jobs Proposal

So we've all seen the headlines about unemployment rates continuing to rise, and Obama is going to save us all with his stimulus plan. Well, I have an idea, and it comes from growing up with a farmer for a dad.

In the 50's, Congress enacted the Conservation Reserve Program (CRP). Basically, this program pays farmers some amount of money to not farm their lands and instead use it for something that helps out the environment (prevents soil erosion, improve water supplies and quality, and increase wildlife habitats). So farmers get paid to not work. Now granted, I'm sure it is less money than they would have made if they had planted crops to harvest, but still, they are getting some money for not doing regular farm work.

So, I propose to Congress to come up with a similar program for jobs. There are some people out there working who could probably get by without working. It would be harder on those people, and they wouldn't be able to save as much, or afford as many luxuries, but still, they don't HAVE to work. So Congress should pay them to conserve their working so that someone else (who really NEEDS to work) can have their job, and the government could pay those giving up their jobs some amount less than they would make if they were working. I think we'd see all sorts of jobs open up if this program were available, and the unemployment rates would significantly drop...

...However, finding people to work those newly available jobs might be tough. After all, maybe they could survive on the money from the government through the Workman Conservation Program.

Or is that what Welfare is?

My Groovy Retro-Girl

Several months ago, I went through some old clothes that mom had kept from when I was a little kid. I picked out a few outfits and brought them home. Yesterday, Sadie wanted to try on one of the outfits, so here she is, sporting a classic late 70's style in an outfit my Grandma Lucy made me...

Awww...Yuck!

Sadie was just sitting in my lap, looking at my hair (it's straight today). Here's the conversation we had:

S: Mom, do you have a curling iron?
M: Yes. Why?
S: So we can curl your hair just like mine.
M: But my hair isn't as pretty as yours.
S: But we have the same color of eyes.
M: Yeah...so?
S: So let me curl your hair with my fingers.
M: Okay.
S: Do you know how to curl your hair with your fingers?
M: No. How?
S: First, you get a booger on your finger and then...
M: Yuck...did you just put a booger in my hair?

Vacation Pictures

We went to Red River, NM on vacation this week. Here are some photos from the trip.

Monday:

This 1st one is a picture of Toby and kids at a log that fell into the river, and the river has cut thru it over the years. Toby and his family always stopped at this site on their trips to Red River. You can see in the 2nd picture what I'm talking about...

Here's Sadie playing on a rock in the middle of the river...

And Aaron, who hiked up the river a bit...

Tuesday:

This is a picture of Aaron playing in the river right outside the condo we stayed in. It is right off the deck in the back.

And here is Sadie, crossing the river, also right outside the condo. She had to have some help. You can see how quickly the river is flowing. The water was also very very cold, but that didn't' stop the kids from playing in it...

We went on a hike in the mountains. Here's Sadie taking a break while Aaron and Courtney (Aunt Sandie's niece) climbed higher up the mountain. You can see the trail we were hiking behind her.

And here is Aaron on his way back down to the trail after climbing up the mountain...

Of course, there was a LOT of this going on...

Wednesday:

Sadie and Toby at the top of the mountain, after riding the ski lift up. She sure loves her daddy :)

Sadie and Toby on their way back down the ski lift...

Next was horseback riding. Here's Aaron on his horse. I was so proud of him. He rode all by himself, up and down hills in the mountains, quite often with a sheer drop-off on one side, and he didn't get scared...

Sadie rode with me. Our horse was named Brutus, and I don't think they feed him enough in the stables. The entire trip, he kept stopping to munch on anything green he could find, including pine trees.

Here we are coming back into town on the horses...

You can tell Sadie had a good time...she laughed, giggled, and gabbed the entire hour-long trip. She gives the experience a thumbs up!

As for me...I'm still sore today from riding ol' Brutus!

Here are 4 fish that Toby and Aaron caught on Wednesday. They left them strung up in the river in the back over night (we were going to cook them Thursday), and when we woke up Thursday morning, the fish were gone. Toby told Aaron a bear must have come down the river and eaten them...

Thursday:

We also found a rock-climbing place, and Aaron can't pass up that opportunity. He did a great job and scampered up to the top with no problems on the easy and medium sides. He tried the expert side (the one that will pay you $100 if you can make it to the top in 3 minutes), and he made it close to half-way up. It took him over 2 1/2 minutes to figure out how to get started, so if he had more time, I think he maybe would have made it.

We had lots of fun, and the weather was nice and cool! The condo we stayed in was nice, and it was great getting to spend time with Sandie, Corkey, Hope and Courtney! However, we were also very glad to get back to our house, and our own beds!

Professional Procrastinator

I have always been and will most likely always be a procrastinator. To date, I have never been late completing something, but there have been MANY MANY all-nighters. But hey, I am a night person, and I really think I do my best work after midnight, when the rest of the house is quite and I can be alone. I also work best under pressure. If I still have months to finish something, I always seem to be able to find something much more pressing to do (play on the computer, watch TV, spend time w/ family). Whoever said "Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today" was obviously not very good at goofing off, or never had the internet, a blog, facebook, IM, e-mail, etc.

So now, I am beginning to feel the pressure from my latest project. I still have a month to complete it, but there is a lot to do. I am feeling that pressure so much so that I couldn't sleep last night as all the things I am working on (and trying to work out) were swimming through my brain, which for some reason, does not have a hibernate or snooze button. I was up until close to 4am lying in bed, thinking about how to make this pilot project I am in charge of for the fall work, and remembering all the things that I have to get done in the next few weeks.

So today, I have been productive. I have sent out the e-mails I needed to for dates from other instructors, filled out my tentative class calendar, and selected possible dates for the simulations I will need to do in the fall.

Here's the rest of the to do list:

1. write objectives and scenarios for 4 new simulations
2. work out the kinks for those sims
3. record some lectures for online (probably 8 hours worth...who knows how many actual hours that will take...)
4. sign-up for and preview the new case studies that are now required for my course
5. review and update the required video list

I am sure that there are more things, but right now, I can't think of them. But now, I have a to do list started, and can look back at this to see what I have accomplished and what still needs to be done.

I'm sure you guys really don't care about my to do list, but maybe by putting it out here for everyone to see, it will keep me more on task. Feel free to nag me about my progress ;)

Holy Hail!

Me and Aaron pulled up to our house this evening around 6 from an afternoon riding his dirt bike in Groom. As we drove home, we drove through a storm that dumped lots of rain on us. We made it home, and as we pulled into our neighborhood, I noticed lots of tree leaves in the yards. Then, I saw this in our yard, and it explained it all...

Aaron decided to walk barefoot in the hail, and was shocked to find it "freezing."

I'm glad we missed this storm. It looks like the hail was pea to marble size...maybe a little bigger. I wonder if we should get our roof looked at...

One other funny comment from Aaron today, as we were driving to Groom. He tells me that the next Webkinz he gets, he wants it to be the same as one he already has so that he can make the new one a girl, and then his girl and boy Webkinz that are the same can have babies, and then he'll have lots of Webkinz for free. I wanted to tell him that babies are in no way free, but instead just spent my time trying to convince him that this scheme would never work. I still don't think he believes me...

A Wonderland Night

Saturday night, we went to Wonderland Park with Toby's family. We had a great time (despite the heat...103 degrees...sheesh). Needless to say, our first ride was a water ride...

Here's Sadie on one of her favorite rides. It's the Thunderjet Racers.

This pictures proves to any doubters that my little Miss Priss has some attitude...Just look at her hand on her hips :)

Here's Aaron on the same ride, no hands

The Frog Hopper is another one of Sadie's favorites...no hands




Here's Aaron and one of his cousins on the ski lift...

And some daddy-daughter bonding time on the ski lift...

Here's a picture of the group of cousins (minus one) who were there Saturday night.

This is Sadie in line for her 1st ever roller coaster...this is a new ride at Wonderland.

Here's Aaron in line for the same coaster...

Here's Sadie in the coaster car, right before the ride began...

And here she is at the end of the ride...she loved it and hopped right back in line for more! Aaron, however, was not so impressed...he said it was a boring ride.

The Texas Intimidator was more thrilling for him. I was surprised he rode this. My little cautious boy is turning into a thrill seeker...

And here's Sadie on the last ride of the night...she made it onto the elusive dragon on the carousel. This is the only non-horse on the carousel, and is darn near impossible to get on, unless you're first in line, and very fast.

The kids had a great time, and Aaron LOVED spending time with his cousins. Hopefully, though, this is our last trip to Wonderland this year. It wears me out :)